Thursday, September 17, 2009

It's All Happening!

Dudes and dudines, I am tired. I am tired like Pirelli, yo. Sorry, I've been re-watching old episodes of How I Met Your Mother and there's a lot of wordplay. It's infectious. Like the flu.

Anyway, I've basically been running for the last week. I think the next time I really get to sit down, take a breather, have one of those TV-only baths where people light candles and drink wine in the tub, will be sometime around Christmas. There's been a lot of stuff on my plate. Actually, "my plate" is a bit of a misnomer, since I've been too crazed to really have a sit-down meal lately. There's been a lot of stuff in my burrito wrapper.

Not that I'm complaining! (I'm obviously totally complaining.) It's just...hectic. And the hecticness is nice, in a way: it's getting me out of the house, I'm doing new stuff, it's all very exciting and educational...but sometimes, I just need to take a couple days where I do nothing. And I mean nothing. I need serious hours logged as a housecat would: staring at the windowshade, napping, staring at the linoleum, not wearing pants, and screening my phone calls. Plus naps.

Here's the thing: I'm not lazy. I like to-do lists and tasks that challenge my brain. I love cooking up new ideas and, like, accomplishing shit. Just today I had three meetings, and they were all super different from each other. My whole brain was lighting up like Times Square on New Year's.

But that's exhausting sometimes. I'm not lazy, but I am sort of like those old rechargeable batteries you keep around for like, four years past their expiration date: I need a long time to get back to full power.

It's not just a question of a good night's sleep, either. I sleep okay; sure, most of the time I fall asleep with a book in my hand and still wearing my glasses, but that's okay. At least I'm not all Edward Norton in Fight Club with my snoozes. It's more a question of being able to process. I take an awfully long time to process. Just like my geriatric computer, I run all the zeroes and ones - it just takes me a little longer to get there.

This is making me sound like I have a serious case of the slows, but that's not right either. I am, as evidenced by my interminable education, a student. I like to learn, but part of the student brainpan is a big chunk devoted to critical thinking. Critical thinking is one of those job-interview phrases that people cook up to make themselves sound fancy and educated, but it's true that thinking things through requires a little more energy than just doing and letting the chips fall where they may. Studying is hard. Writing is hard. know where I'm going with hard. It's not hard in the way that building houses is hard, but it's a trial sometimes.

I'm not asking for pity, because I know I won't get any. Which is fine, because everyone I know is in the same boat. I have several different jobs right now, and only one nets me a (teeny weeny) paycheck. The others are just as important: educating myself, getting healthy, volunteering, interning. It's just taken all together, it's a lot in one burrito wrapper.

No comments:

Post a Comment