Monday, August 20, 2012

List of Vices

I have a long list of vices. Here are some of them:
  • Never admitting when I fart.
  • Pinterest.
  • Talking to myself in the shower.
  • Carelessness with keys, sunglasses, and wallets.
  • Chronically avoiding the green bin chore.
  • Never hanging my towels up to dry.
  • Reading in bed.
  • Red wine.
  • Not brushing my hair.
  • A soft spot for ugly nail polish colours.
  • Takeout burritos.
  • Lecturing people on things that I know only marginally more than they do - this would be mansplaining if I had a penis, but I don't.
  • Hectoring foreigners into trying on a Canadian accent.
  • Not doing dishes. 
  • Everything at the Bulk Barn.
  • Wasabi peas.
  • Coke Zero.
  • Cheap books.
  • Revenge fantasies, usually involving spit and a Bond-villain-like treatise on why I hate that person.
  • Secretly hating yoga.
  • Clothes that are too small but I keep trying anyway.
  • Bad moods.
  • Wearing my shoes until they literally fall off my feet in tatters. 
  • Being slightly rude to people I've slept with's girlfriends.
  • Self-loathing hangovers.
  • Caramel cheesecake.