+February: My dad had a TIA so the doctor pulled his driver's license, and he decided to stay with me for a month. It was good, I think, for both of us: he could walk places and I could ferry him around, and it was nice for me to have another adult in the house to keep track of Noah. I started the month in Toronto on a visit with friends and that was SO NICE; I ended the month by hosting book club and really swung for the fences with the snacks; that wasn't "nice," per se, but I do feel like I somehow won the non-competition that is book club hosting duties, even if it nearly killed me. (I made TWO ice creams! From scratch!)
+March: We went to Toronto for March break and stayed in a very generous friend's house! We went with our friends and so Noah had a playmate and I had an adult friend and it was mostly quite fun: we went to the AGO and the mall, and generally goobered around the city. Good times. My mom and I started remodelling the back room of my (rented) house: fresh paint and new floors. It was weirdly warm and everyone kind of freaked out about it.
+April: I saw an ECLIPSE, bro! This was intensely magical: the shadows got weird, it got chilly, and then the sun went away and then came back and both time the park full of people we were at cheered. It was extremely primal; if I was an Ancient People, I would have absolutely thrown a virgin in a volcano. Climate Momentum threw its third Earth Day Street Party, which was fun. I went dancing with friends and halfway through the night I was drunk and sobbing in the bathroom; 45 minutes later I lost my fucking mind to a Cure/Azalea Banks mashup that felt intensely healing.
+May: An apartment came up for rent in the co-op Mike and I put our names in for before we were even married, and after an agonizing week where he asked me repeatedly to move to Toronto, he decided he would do it himself. This was...devastating. I was shocked—the anger would come later—but it was clearly a decision that would have huge implications for everyone. Noah set up a "pink fizzes" stand and sold fake lemonade to neighbours. I caught a huge head cold and passed my G road test despite being absolutely cooked on Sudafed. I also went on my first, and so far only, Internet date—we talked for three hours, but 1.5 of them were about his fear of commitment. It was, as the kids say, mid.
+June: The car my parents had loaned me had died a slow death in May (not my fault, she was fifteen years old and had paid her dues). In absolutely serendipitous news, a friend connected me with a man who was selling his car, and with some savings and a loan from my parents, I became the owner of a Kia with a functional battery and air conditioning! Huge news. I did a 40th birthday do-over party in which only a handful of people came but I drank, and then spent three whole days feeling like absolute hot garbage. (I have not had a drink since!) Mike and I started mediation, which was expensive and, as I'm writing this in December, still not complete! :/ I went to a friend's wedding in a library and Noah surfed on a handtruck and ate cupcakes for dinner; it was pure magic.
+July: This was the interim period between Mike's decision to move and his actual move out date, so I was a little on edge. I went to the Beaver Valley and had an awkward time with an ex-friend (it was fine, but sheesh). (The Valley and the other friends remain beautiful, as always.) Noah did two weeks of dance camp and had a great time. I did an art project where I put enormous googly eyes on the downtown flower planters, which brought me GREAT JOY. July felt fine, except that it really wasn't fine. I was just holding my breath.
+August: Mike moved. Noah went to Toronto for two weeks and so naturally I had stomach issues for ten entire days, including three days in the city when I was literally relying on Gatorlyte and bananas to stay alive. I still don't know what the hell that was, but damn, it was painful. However, going to Toronto was otherwise pretty great—there is now an Ikea in the downtown core, it's thrilling. I also spent time at the beach with my folks and my sister, and it was a nice, normal time.
+September: The Usual Suspects came for Labour Day weekend and it was so nice. I started doing a Couch to 5K program, and oh man, I did not feel athletic! Noah started grade three and we had some new routines, schedules, and mindsets to tackle some of the ongoing anxiety; it's always a work in progress, and will probably be that way forever.
+October: We got a cat! Legal name Marshmallow, house name Masha. She is an exceptionally sweet little orange tabby who sleeps on her back and will kill spiders for me, so she's THE BEST. I finally saw the Northern Lights, like, for real-for real, and much like the eclipse, it was pure magic. It was a heck of a year, astronomically speaking. I made Noah a Wolverine mask out of cardboard for Halloween, and it looked really cool. I continued to run, albeit very slowly.
+November: I finally got a CPAP machine, which took roughly 90000 nights to get used to. The American election happened; I always feel like a fool commenting on American politics, but goddamn, what the hell? I made a 'zine about community. I took myself out for a solo birthday dinner and had such a nice time with it.
+December: There was so! much! snow! I hosted the Kochany Christmas for the second year in a row, and everyone brought a lot of food and it was very nice. I went to the hospital with abdominal pain and it turned out to be epiploic appendagitis, which is a real, rare thing and will not kill a person, which is great. My wallet conked out, so I made myself a new one, and I love it. I also sewed a new hat and some neckwarmers, so maybe sewing is going to be a thing? Luigi Mangione became an internet sensation. Christmas at the cottage was very nice, and Noah was charming.
++YEAR IN REVIEW: This year, I did a lot of thrifting and spent a lot of time making art. I spent some time in percolation mode regarding physical fitness: I find myself struggling with motivation, and am hoping the new calendar helps me jump-start some new routines. I spent a lot of time with my parents, which was really good—they helped me get used to being a single mom, and gave me much-needed support in the earliest days. I also spent a lot of time alone, something that used to terrify me but I now treasure. Favourite hobbies like knitting felt thin, but I did some writing and some sewing. My work was great; my colleagues were supportive and generous with their time and energy. My friends were terrific, with check-in texts and sweet time together. I feel very lucky that I have so much rich love in my life.
+++2025 GOALS: I've been slowly trying to wrap my head around what fitness and health look like in this fifth decade of my life, so more progress on that. I want to return to making garments, but my knitting mojo is paused, and I need to just embrace that. I am trying to level up in my work life, so we'll see if that works out. And I want to try just an eentsy bit hard in my dating life: I feel a bit stuck in that regard, but I also know that too soon will be much worse than too slow. Creative goals in recent years were overwhelming, so I'm going to right-size the scale of them and try again. And honestly, in talking to a friend yesterday, I am so grateful to be myself—my messy, wondrous, hilarious, try-hard self—and just settling into the person I really am feels like a privilege. Count me in for more of that.
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