Pregnancy, In Lists

A partial list of cravings so far:

• tortellini with pesto
• banana smoothies
• green smoothies
• dim sum-style turnip cakes
• pad Thai
• toast
• more toast
• seriously, an embarrassing amount of toast
• kefir
• samosas
• peanut sauce
• macaroni and cheese
• pudding cups
• soft white foods in general

Things that have been the grossest:

• my beloved kombucha SCOBY, which I had to throw away and then barf a bunch afterwards
• red meat
• the inside of my own mouth
• the stupid prenatal vitamin that I take like twice a week and always which always makes me feel disgusting

Nicknames for the baby:

• the little buddy
• the tiny dancer
• little friend
• kiddo
• the disco monster

Cutest things:

• have you ever seen a newborn onesie? Good lord 

Obsessions:

• what I'll fill my freezer with before the kid arrives
• strollers—they truly are the car parents buy before they buy a minivan
• sleek maternity clothes
• how to position my body in time and space so that I'm comfortable
• avoiding other people's unsolicited labour stories
• toast
• knitting tiny clothes
• pinning gender-neutral clothes on Pinterest
• baby-wearing resources
• poking at my belly to see if that's the kid's head or its bum
• offering people a chance to touch my stomach (I am a monster)

Physical challenges:

• stiff hips
• sore back
• leaky boobs
• my crotch is a swamp 24/7
• this, like, numb/burning area at the top of my abdomen? The midwife says this is not unusual, but I think there's a demon in there
• sometimes I go to pee and then an hour later I have to pee again, and then an hour after that I'm peeing again, and...

Physical amazingness:

• feeling this kid move around inside
• no acne?! 
• seriously, my hair looks insanely good right now
• constantly fondling my new outie bellybutton 
• yoga is fun again
• a bunch of different people have said that I'm "glowing"

Emotional challenges:

• crying pretty much on the daily, for real
• fear
• anxiety 
• developing an inexplicable fondness for Justin Bieber songs 
• that every twinge is somehow a miscarriage, or, now, premature labour

Emotional amazingness:

• when my husband reads stories to my belly and then we snuggle afterwards 
• the incredible influx of people who want to give us baby-related stuff, including furniture, clothes, and soaker pads for the aforementioned leaky boobs
• holding onto the parenting mantra my mother gave me, which was "Feed the baby. Hold the baby. Change the baby," which, like, I can totally do those things
• feeling closer to my mom in general
• finding some mom-friends (however: is there a more terrible phrase in the English language than "mom-friends"? I don't think so)
• watching my body change in all these incredible ways, and not feeling super fucked-up about it (as Virginia Slim said: "You've come a long way, baby."
• starting to maybe feel sort of like, if I can get my house cleaned up and take a shower sometime between now and January, I might be ready for this. 

Image via Rebeca Losada