As I was leafing through Entertainment Weekly a few days ago, I was struck my a collage of images from the upcoming fall television season. Nothing special going on: a few waitresses transposed over someone posing with a handgun: the usual pappy "look at us!" kind of schtick that ensures that, by the time the pilot is aired, we're all vaguely aware of what we're going to be looking at here. Waitresses? Yeah, I'd watch that.
But one of those waitresses is the luscious Kat Denning, and guys? She has boobs.
I know most woman of reproductive age have 'em, but let's face it: there isn't a lot of diversity amongst the TV breasts. They're usually high and small, with a little bit of jiggle if you jog (and a little bit of pointiness if you're watching a Friends rerun - they must have kept that set at, like, six degrees), but a lot of the time, the "cleavage" is about as sexy and voluptuous as a frying pan. If you're a little older, or not quite in the bell curve, you could adjust them: either "naturally" through over-exercise, which gives you that alluringly bony sternum, or go discreetly under the knife to pump up your basketballs. Young women, as they're represented in the TV demographic, aren't as likely to be weird-skinny. Their assets just haven't really had time to be anything other than perfect, but their coltish figures take very well to a regimen of baby carrots and elliptical machines if they don't quite conform.
I check out women...constantly. As my (very patient and and slightly amused) boyfriend pointed out today, if I was a dude, I would be one of those construction workers who sexually harass attractive women. I'm a fan of legs: long, lean gams where the short-shorts are short and the thighs don't touch. At 5'1", my legs are muscular, well-shaped, toned and strong. I love my legs, but I don't think of them as luscious, and they certainly aren't long. The same can't be said about my chest: I am very well endowed there. I get a classic hourglass shape when I'm working out, so it ends up being very va-va-voom. Lots of deep v-necks in my wardrobe.
The thing about large breasts is that they don't often work in the real world. I'll give you a for-instance: I hate being warm, so tank tops are de rigeur in my wardrobe. With big boobs, "tank top" equals "revealing." Culturally, large breasts are understood to be sexy, sometimes over-sexed. They're seen as relatively low-class. They're often the hallmark of an ethnicity that white people think of as "other," like Latina. Revealing small breasts is artful; revealing large breasts is pornographic. Think about Dolly Parton and Pamela Anderson. Now think about Gwyneth Paltrow and Natalie Portman.
In my quest for body acceptance, I'm trying to come up with some role models I can turn to when I start feeling like I never see myself on the screen. Kat Dennings is totally foxy: she's got an pre-anorexia Angelina thing going on, which I like very much, and her face belongs on billboards. But is she a stick? Nah. She's got curves, man. It's nice to see curves on TV. Just like, when Maw Whitman shows up in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, she's got a shadow of a double chin. Because, you know, she's a human. Doesn't mean she can't kick some serious ass.
Please note that I'm not talking about the carefully curated curves of Jessica Biel or ScarJo: those women, though undoubtedly beautiful, aren't regular humans. Or the "large breasts" of Megan Fox, who, in her newest movie, is the thinnest woman I've ever seen onscreen. Seriously: look at this woman's midsection. Where is it? I recently read an article about why No Doubt didn't put out more music. Between her kids, her fashion line, and her workout routine, she explain, Gwen Stefani just didn't have the time to record new music. The day my workout becomes my actual job is the day that I crawl into bed with a tub of cream cheese icing in order to spend some serious time realigning my priorities. Some exercise is good and it's a great feeling to be fit, active and healthy.
But coming to terms with that shadow of double chin, or absentmindedly rubbing your belly while you wait for the bus, can be a powerful moment. Knowing that other women are out there doing the same thing, even women in an industry that has powerful forces demanding that the chin and the belly shrink away, is reassuring and empowering. I don't know if the Dennings's new sitcom is going to be any good; it's just nice to know that her "normal" body isn't holding her back.