Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Dude Energy

If science ever gets bored with playing with atoms or screwing over the environment, they can always turn to harnessing one of the more potent sources of energy in the universe. I'm talking, of course, about Dude Energy.

As we leave behind our teens and enter the world of adulthood (and its corresponding adult magazines), we also leave behind a time when smacking each other in the bag was like, a huge source of entertainment and pleasure for guys. I'm not even mentioning that whaling on each other for no good reason made up roughly 40% of teen-boy social life. Plus, when else are you going to get really, really good at the Halo franchise without putting a marriage/career on the line? Or be powered solely by Mountain Dew and "that's what she said" jokes? It's glorious, glorious I tell you.

Women don't do that. Girls didn't do that either. We don't usually go around growing funny mustaches or debating which episode of The Simpsons was the very finest. Oh, sure, sometimes there are exceptions - remember when Cameron Diaz was first on the scene, and every interview she did was how much she liked burping/farting? - but for the most part, girls are delicate flowers when it comes to stuff like that. Which is a shame, really. I think we'd have a lot more fun if it occurred to us just to slug it out when we get mad at each other. Instead , we use all that fakery, peaking in high school, but lingering through a huge part of female-on-female social interactions.

Dudes have an easy physicality, a way of takin' 'er easy that's hard not to admire. It's this kind of mindset that allows a dude to play Frisbee on a Thursday afternoon, or have the mental capacity to store 800,000 songs in his brain, but forget his best friend's birthday. It's the easy jokester, the guy who can hit on a woman while sporting a ripped tee-shirt, the dude who can wear that same ripped tee-shirt four days in a row. Dudes are champs at cooking meat and terrible at making the bed. What's not to admire about that?

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